Psychotherapy Articles

Stress prevention and management

People in the LGBT community experience more stress that heterosexuals do, so stress prevention and management becomes important in contributing to our wellness and mental health.

Definition of stress

Stress can be defined several ways, but one definition is that stress occurs when your demands exceed your resources. Both demands and resources can be internal and external. Internal demands include traits like perfectionism and impatience, plus limiting and rigid beliefs and attitudes. External demands include work and relationship obligations, threats of terrorism, and living in a heterosexist society.

Internal resources include characteristics like resilience, forgiveness, and confidence, plus flexibility, a positive attitude, and open-mindedness. External resources include good self-care, such as taking up yoga or meditation, learning to control anger, and having good friendships.

Types of stress

While some types of stress (or demands) are obvious, others are very subtle. When you think of stressors, you usually think about psychological ones. But keep in mind that stress that impacts your physical body also affects your mind. So, in addition to emotional and psychological stressors, such as relationship breakups and moving, physical stressors include pollutants and chemicals, chronic pain, drugs/alcohol/cigarettes, inadequate sleep, allergies, germs, and viruses.

Signs of stress

Some level of stress is to be expected. And generally speaking, people have ample resource reserves to help them cope with the stresses of everyday life. Sometimes, however, demands pile up to the point where our resources aren’t sufficient to handle them. When this happens, some of the signs of too much stress include:

Physical – muscle tension, head aches, stomach ailments, skin problems, nervous tics, and fatigue
Emotional – feeling blue, anxious, hypervigilant, over-concerned, and guilt
Psychological – trouble concentrating, memory lapses, confusion, irritability
Behavioral – anger outbursts, escape into drugs/alcohol, avoiding people, easily irritated

How to manage and prevent stress

Even though it may seem that stress management and prevention are two distinct activities, there are a lot of similarities. So, the following suggestions apply to both management and prevention:

To prevent stress, find ways to plan ahead. When coming out, for example, you can avoid face-to-face conversations by writing “coming out letters” to family and friends. Another form of stress prevention is avoiding drama. Examples include keeping people’s confidences (avoiding the “Round and round”) and declining your best friend’s partner’s sexual advances (!)

Physical exercise is not only a great way to manage stress, it is one of the building blocks of stress prevention. Just remember that with weight training, you build up lactic acid and you need to do cardio afterward to bring the level back down. Stretching afterward also helps to regain muscle flexibility. One of my favorite things to do is to take walks. With the help of my dog (who, by petting it, reduces my blood pressure!) nudging me every morning, I have logged at least 2,500 hours of walking in the last 5 years, oftentimes in beautiful settings. The only gear you need is a good pair of walking shoes.

In addition to exercise, two other building blocks for managing and preventing stress are sleep and nutrition. So much has been said about these two subjects, the only thing I’d like to add is for nutrition, the 80/20 rule, along with portion control, can keep you healthy and trim: 80% nutritious foods, 20% fun foods. The only other thing worth remembering is: diets don’t work, even the low-carb fad. They only make you fatter in the long-run. The only way to lose weight and keep it off is to eat sensibly and exercise.

Another important, overlooked form of stress management is to make sure you have fun and that you laugh. Laughter, like crying, releases chemicals that reduce stress in your body and provide feelings of calmness and well-being.

Having a good social network is a buffer to stress. Getting support and talking about your feelings act as stress reducers. If you’re prone to get into arguments, it is important for you to learn how to get along with others. There is something to be said for having harmony in your life.

Even though doing drugs and getting drunk can be fun and a way to forget about your problems, I have a rule-of-thumb. If you haven’t gotten getting drunk and high out of your system by the time you’re 30, you probably have a problem worth looking into.

To conclude, stress can be managed by having a sound balance of exercise, sleep, and nutrition. Add planning ahead, flexibility, reducing drama, fun and laughter, good friends, and moderating drugs/alcohol combine to help you reduce stress to manageable levels.