Once Upon a Time you were small. When you were small, you relied on your caregiver(s) for food, shelter - your very survival. To you, your parents were like gods, at least according to your perception, and thus, according to Reality. Inferiority Feelings What develops, according to Alfred … [Read more...] about Leaving the Prison of Our Selves: Understanding and Outgrowing our Personal Fables
It can be very difficult to truly know how we come across to others. It can be even more difficult if you grew up without many friends, who provide a “feedback loop” during our identity-forming teen years. Either way, there can be a yawning gap between how we think we're coming across to others and … [Read more...] about Do you or Someone you Know have Off-putting Qualities?
When someone asked gay writer Ethan Mordden how he could live without a family, he responded that his friends were his family. But the person who questioned him didn't understand his answer: "He said, 'no – I mean a family like playing with them and learning from each other and living with them … [Read more...] about The Importance of Friendships in the LGBT Community
As children, we were conditioned to act like a “boy” or a “girl.” Some messages were explicit, as when parents admonish their sons not to cry or tell their daughters to stop climbing trees. Other messages are less obvious: Our parents showed us how to be masculine or feminine. This kind of role … [Read more...] about How Gender Roles Impact Same-sex Relationships
Is it hard for you to quit worrying about money, even if you’re in good financial shape? Could a lack of money be related to a lack of self-worth, including internalized homophobia? These questions may be difficult to answer, but it’s worth a try. People with money problems tend to fall in two … [Read more...] about Financial Well-being and Being LGBT: Is there a Connection?
Prior to discussing internalized homophobia, I'd like to note that social and political forces in our culture play a large part in influencing our attitudes, beliefs, and behavior toward lesbians and gay men. Coming out often has genuine risk, whether it's being endangered physically, fired from … [Read more...] about We are all Homophobic: The Question is, How much?
Brianna and Ava want to have children. However, Ava has some reservations because she’s unsure about how their children will be treated by others, and she wonders how her relationship with Brianna will impact their children in the long-term. The answers aren’t 100%, but two researchers – Judith … [Read more...] about Children of Same-sex Parents: Does Being Gay Make a Difference?
Please allow me to first tell you what I mean by "coping strategy." Many professionals in the mental health field used to talk about how we develop "defenses" that need to be eradicated in order to lead fulfilling lives. For many of us in the field, that's changed. Why? Because a defense is … [Read more...] about Identifying and Changing your Coping Strategies
Domestic Violence Adam and Brianna have been together for five years. Adam has been violent for the past year. He didn’t hit her until she got pregnant, which is sometimes when perpetrators start abusing their partners. What is Domestic Violence? Domestic Violence (DV) is a systematic attempt by one … [Read more...] about If you’re in an Abusive Relationship
No one starts off using crystal thinking that it will hurt them. Gay men use it, as they use other drugs, to have fun, enhance their experiences, and be part of the crowd. Consequently, crystal has become a popular drug in the community, particularly in major cities. As a former director of a … [Read more...] about Crystal: When it Just isn’t Fun Anymore